On Monday, October 30 I awoke to a new world. It was the first day of my new life. I was unemployed and single. Friday, the 27th was my final day working for my employer and I took my layoff notice with a smile. On that same day, to my slight surprise, my partner and I called it quits. The “partner split” was, thankfully, only temporary but at that moment, I breathed a sigh of relief that ALL of it was over.
Over the last four years, I have wanted to quit my job but much like most people, a hope that the environment would improve and the need for a paycheck kept me coming. At some point, the hope for positive improvements to the environment became unrealistic. When the resources are not available, there is no possibility that the environment will show positive improvements. The players will change but the actions, interactions, and outcomes will remain the same. So, for more than two years, I stayed for the paycheck.
Then, the day came that I walked into my office, and closed my door and said the words, “I’m done”! You can read about Doing Right to Survive. From that point, I felt free. When the layoff notice came around mid October, the only feeling that I had was the dread that it would be retracted. I think I reminded my boss everyday for two weeks to make sure that I remained on the list no matter what happened. The last fours years conditioned me to believe that no matter how certain something seems, there was always the likelihood of a last minute change.
Here I am on November 7th and I have not had one moment of regret. In the case of my next career move, I feel free to explore my desires and approach my work options in a manner that puts me more in control of the outcomes. I have some ideas about what I will do next but not yet. Right now, I am enjoying the freedom and grateful that I have been able to do the unthinkable (contrary to the way that I was raised) and quit a job without another one starting in two weeks.
This was not a decision that I made without a lot of thought and tears. I can say without any hesitation that I gave the company and the job my all but in the end, the company was no longer the right fit for me and I kept trying to squeeze into the job even though I knew it did not fit. I have learned some valuable lessons that I will use to guide my decisions in the future.
Every time that I think I am know who I am, there is always a new corner to turn.